he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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