ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
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i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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