so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
