Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
