My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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