I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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