i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
