i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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