If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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