you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
