Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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