So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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