eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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