Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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