um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
