So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Someone signed my nipple.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
