I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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