mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
