Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
