I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
