do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize