The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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