I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
