i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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