I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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