why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
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Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
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just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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