At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
