omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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