that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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