Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
