I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
