Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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