I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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