Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
