I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
