when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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