hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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