White coat. Heels.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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