Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
