who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
