Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
