Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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