well you can't waste a boner
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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