Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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