Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
