You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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