i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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