when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
