Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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