u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
