White coat. Heels.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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