What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
