She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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