3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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