and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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