Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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