She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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