You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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