did you get engaged???
My nipple is on Facebook.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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