I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
