What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
