Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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